Well, my new people showed up to get me on a Friday night.  How did I know that it was Friday night?  Hey, you think I can write a story by myself, why wouldn’t I know what night it was? 

Anyway, my new humans showed up to pick me up.  They had this small portable prison cell for me.  It was tiny (I guess I was too come to think of it!).  My new people talked with my grand parents for a while and then they gave my new parents some food, (for me of course) and a couple of toys.  My grandparents got a little weepy with my leaving.  I guess it’s hard on people to see their grandkids grow up and leave the nest, but I guess it had to happen eventually.

My new parents carried me out to the car and put me in my little prison.   I needed to let them know that these accommodations were simply not acceptable.  My new dad promised me that they had a bigger “kennel” at the house for me.  Phew, that was a relief, although I really wasn’t sure what this “kennel” thingy was.

I have to admit, I was a bit scared.  Here are these people that never had a little puppy like me before.  Heck, my new dad never had a dog before.  What the heck would he know about shaping my little mind in the right way?   These would be interesting days for all of us as a family.

We arrived at the new house late in the evening.  I remember it was pretty chilly outside and I didn’t have all my fur yet.  I’ll tell you that it really encouraged me to go potty very quickly and get my furless little butt in the house, but I digress.

We arrived at the new house and my new parents let me go exploring.  I’m not quite sure why, but they followed me around and anytime I looked like I was going to sit down, they picked me up and put me outside.  This was not going to do at all. 

After a couple of successful sits (and a couple of piddles outside), they decided that it would be ok if I sat down in the house.  Geez, was I glad that they finally got the idea there.  My little paws were freezing.   There was something called snow on the ground.  While it was a rather interesting substance, it was cold on my feet and on my belly and I didn’t like it.

My next problem came with this thing they strapped around my neck.  It was a bright blue device that went around my neck and tried to strangle me.  Try as I might, itching and scratching at it, it simply wouldn’t come off.   I didn’t see them wearing these devices so it really made me start to wonder. 

Little did I know that the torture of this device wouldn’t manifest itself completely until they added tags that jingled and completely ruined the stealth that I possessed.  At that moment, I was pretty convinced that these new humans were evil.

The rest of the evening went without incident.  It was getting late and I was pretty tired after a long day of activity.  My humans put me outside a couple dozen more times and prepared my new “kennel” so I could go to sleep.  They put some really nice towels in there and a treat (that was pretty cool of my new mom).  They put me in there and closed the door.  What happened next was terrifying.  They shut off the light and left me there.  What were they thinking!!   They just got me and they stick me in prison, turn off the lights and leave me.  I don’t think so.  So I screamed and cried and carried on.  Within five minutes the lights came on and the nice mom lady came down and picked me up and hugged me and talked to me.  This was more like it. 

Just when I thought I was out of the woods on this one, she stuck me back in the kennel and shut the lights off again.  It just sucked to be me! 

It was about this time that I realized that I was all alone.  My doggie mom was gone, my brothers and sisters were gone.  It was just me, this cage, this towel, this big new place and total darkness.  It was sooooo dark in there.  I don’t remember all too much about what happened next, but I know that I cried myself to sleep that night.  It was pretty traumatic and I would make sure that my new people would pay dearly for this decision.

The next thing I knew, I woke up.  It was still dark, so it must still be nighttime, but I knew at that point that I really had to pee!  I really shouldn’t have had that water before I went to sleep.  What were my new people thinking putting a dish with water in it in my kennel.  Sheesh, I’m just not sure if these people are responsible enough to have me. 

Hmm, what to do, what to do.  Shriek. That’s what I’ll do.  The decision was made.  I let out a loud scream that would wake the neighbors.  Fortunately, it would wake up my new dad as well.  He came in the room and took me outside.  Boy did that feel good.  When I came in, it was back to prison and back to sleep.  It still sucked to be me.

Day 2 – I get a name.

I guess by the second day my new parents were pretty tired of yelling “here puppy puppy” because they assigned a name to me.  I would become “Maggie”.  This name pretty much stuck with me throughout my life, although I got some nicknames later on that were far more widely used by my parents.  But once again I digress. 

Let’s see, my name, Maggie, where did that come from?  I don’t know if there was really a great story behind this.  My new mom’s sister was nicknamed Maggie, but I think it was my new dad that suggested it.  He just thought it sounded like a good name for a puppy and frankly, I have to agree. 

The funny thing about a name is that you can tell a lot about the person calling you by how they pronounce your name.  If they say MAGGIE in a very loud tone, you should probably tuck in your tail and make tracks for your kennel because you are in deep doodie.  If you hear Maaagiieeeeee in kind of a melodic voice, you pretty much know that you are getting treats or something pretty cool will generally happen.  If you hear MAGGIE Margaret (which I don’t think I even have a real middle name), you are in super huge trouble and you’d better do something cute before they catch you or you may not live to see another day.

My real name is “Little Maggie Sunshine”.   I know that Sunshine had something to do with my mom, who’s name was Sonsational Sammy.  Maggie was my name and the little, well that would be something that I would rarely be accused of being later in my life.

Beyond getting a name, day two was pretty uneventful.  My people spent more time making sure that I didn’t sit down anywhere.  I also spent a great deal of time outside with my dad telling me to “go potty”.  I’m convinced that something isn’t quite right with him and his obsession for me to be outside and going potty. 

Thus far my evaluation of my new home was really pretty good.  I got fed a couple of times.  I got a lot of treats and my new people liked to pet me and watch something called TV.  It was really pretty cool. 

Day two ended much as day one did.  Once again alone in my kennel and in the dark, it still sucked to be me and I still had to pee in the middle of the night.  Darn my small bladder.

Day three.

My third day started a bit differently.  About two hours after I went outside, my new mom came down and woke me up again.  Back outside, back inside and breakfast was served.  Hmmm.  I really wondered what was going on here, as this was a change in the routine from the previous morning. 

While my mom showered, my dad played with me.  We played fetch and pincushion dad.  This is a game where I used my sharp pointy teeth on my dad’s arm.  I really liked this game, but I got the sense (when he screamed) that he was none too fond of this.  (Note to self: make the biting look more accidental next time).  So we went back to playing fetch.

Mom got done with her shower (which apparently humans do willingly) and came down to play with me while dad showered.  We played more and there was a flurry of activity with mom and dad getting clean hair-free clothes and getting dressed.  Next thing I knew I was back outside and then back in my kennel.  This time it was almost light outside.  I was so confused.

Apparently my parents have to go to work.  While I really don’t understand the concept of this, I do understand that I’m alone for the better part of the day and I’m really starting to miss my brothers and sisters.  After crying for a while, I finally decided to just go to sleep. 

Having my humans leave like this gave me a lot of time to think about things and ponder the wonders of the universe.  What does it all mean, why are we here, I wonder how to get the food out of the large bin that is sitting on top of my prison (I am a dog after all and my thinking really isn’t all that deep).

My parents seemed to miss the fatal flaw in their plan to leave me home alone.  That is of course my tiny bladder and the fact that they left me alone with a pan of water and no way to get outside and pee.  Sheesh, what where these people thinking?

So, of course I left a couple of little surprises for them.  To say at this point in my life that I had a drinking problem would be an understatement.  I guess I didn’t quite understand the correlation between drinking and having to go outside. 

Ok, so I wasn’t all that bright, I WAS A PUPPY!!  Surprisingly, my parents weren’t all that upset about the messes I made.  At least they weren’t upset enough to want to stay home with me during the day.